


The Premature Sponge

by Sandersedge



Category: SpongeBob SquarePants (Cartoon)
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/M, First Dates, First Kiss, First Time, Love, Premature Ejaculation, Sex, Spandy - Freeform, Story Arc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 09:42:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26849878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sandersedge/pseuds/Sandersedge
Summary: SpongeBob and Sandy finally get together, but it doesn't go well for SpongeBob...at least at first. Will it get better as things progress?
Relationships: Sandy Cheeks/SpongeBob SquarePants
Comments: 3
Kudos: 14





	1. First Date

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time trying my hand at fan fiction. I'm open to any critiques and criticisms.

Tonight was the night, after years of friendship and secretly pining over Sandy Cheeks, SpongeBob was finally taking the girl of his dreams on a date. They’d start off with a picnic in Seashell Park, followed by taking in a movie at the Reef Cinema. It wasn’t much, but it was the best SpongeBob could come up with since he never expected Sandy to say yes. 

SpongeBob emerged from his room and looked cheerfully at his pet snail. 

“So Gary how do I look?” 

“Meow” Gary replied 

“Aww thank you!” SpongeBob said with a smile. 

“Meow, Meow, Meow!” 

“I am a bit nervous, I don’t want to screw this up. And yes, I’ll feed you Gary.” 

SpongeBob walked downstairs to grab a can of Snail-Po from the cupboard and dumped it in Gary’s bowl. Then with a deep breath he tried to push aside his nerves and headed for the door. 

“Bye Gary, don’t wait up!” 

As SpongeBob strolled down the street to Sandy’s Tree Dome he started to sing a little song he made up as he went. He couldn’t remember being so excited, nervous, and happy all at the same time before and all his emotions were just pouring out into a little tune. 

Finally, he made it to the Tree Dome and saw Sandy sitting in a chair by the door waiting for him. He knocked and Sandy opened the door to greet her date. 

“Hiya SpongeBob, y’all ready for this?” 

“You bet Sandy...hey wait, where’s your suit and helmet at?”

“I don’t need ‘em,” she replied with a proud look on her face. “I’ve been working on it all week long and I finally built this here little device that lets me walk outside without my suit or helmet on.”

Sandy pointed to a collar around her neck that had some flashing lights on it. She started to explain more but it was clear that SpongeBob had no idea what she was talking about. 

“Basically, I can retire that old suit unless I need to spend days outside,” she said to her companion as his blue eyes started to glass over. 

“Oh, cool!” SpongeBob said glad that she’d stopped all the techno stuff that went way over his head. “So you ready? I’m ready!” 

And with that the two walked side-by-side to the park. Sandy had agreed to pack the lunch since she knew that SpongeBob would probably just bring Krabby Patties with him and that didn’t sound good to her. Instead she made some jellyfish jelly sandwiches with some Sea-Nut Butter to go with it. She also threw in a nice salad, some chips, and some bon bons for dessert. 

As they walked, SpongeBob’s stomach was in knots. He was getting more and more nervous as they approached the park. He took a breath and held it to try to get himself to relax, but it didn’t help. 

“Gee, SpongeBob, y’all nervous or something?” Sandy said with a chuckle. “Y’all haven’t said a word since we left my house.”

“Oh,” SpongeBob said, snapping back to reality. “Sorry, I was just lost in thought with how pretty you look today that’s all.” 

“Aww, well ain’t you sweet,” Sandy said as she grabbed SpongeBob’s little yellow hand. “Y’all look mighty handsome yourself.” 

It felt like fireworks had gone off inside SpongeBob’s body. Here he was holding the hand of Sandy as they walked along. He managed to compose himself though and started to skip as they made their way towards the park. 

Sandy joined him and they both giggled as they made their way to the perfect picnic place. Once there Sandy laid out a blanket and they sat together munching on the food Sandy had prepared for them. 

“Wow Sandy,” SpongeBob said after swallowing a mouthful of food. “These sandwiches are great!” 

“Shucks SpongeBob, y’all don’t have to be so nice, they ain’t nothing special.”

“Oh but they are Sandy, you made them!” 

With that Sandy snuggled up closer to SpongeBob and rested her head on his. She gave him a little squeeze and then just sat there in silence enjoying one another’s company. 

By now SpongeBob’s heart was racing. He wanted to give Sandy a big kiss, but he didn’t even know how. Was he supposed to use his tongue? Bite her lips? Lick her teeth? SpongeBob was confused as ever and it must have started to show again. 

“Relax SpongeBob,” Sandy said, rubbing her hand on SpongeBob’s back. “Y’all ain’t got nothin’ to worry about, I promise.” 

With a bit of a sigh SpongeBob started to relax and even turned his head to give Sandy a small kiss on her cheek. This made them both blush as they coyly looked away from one another. 

After that things chilled out and SpongeBob felt better. No longer did it feel like jellyfish were swimming around in his stomach. But he still had to prepare himself for the next challenge, the movie date. 

“Come on SpongeBob,” Sand said, starting to pick up trash. “Let’s get picked up so we can head on over to the movie theatre.” 

With that they cleaned up their little picnic area. SpongeBob then reached out his hand and grabbed ahold of Sandy’s furry paw so they could head off to the movies. 

Once they arrived at the Reef Cinema, they looked through the movies to figure out which one they should see. SpongeBob didn’t really care as long as he was with Sandy, so he let her pick. Ultimately she settled on a Romantic Comedy: The Movie Part 101. 

Secretly SpongeBob was delighted as he’d been wanting to see the latest installment after seeing the previous 100. But not knowing how Sandy would react to him being giddy for a chick flick he just gave her a smile and asked for two tickets from the cashier. 

The movie was supposed to be funny, but SpongeBob had to fight back his tears as he watched the two fishes tell each other how much they loved one another. All he could think about was him and Sandy being up there confessing their love for one another. 

The film finally ended much the way it began, with two sea creatures saying their I love you’s to one another. SpongeBob took in a deep breath before the light came up to hold back the tear that was forming on the side of his eye. Thankfully, as it started to roll down his cheek, his skin quickly absorbed it before Sandy could see.

“So how did you like the movie?” Sandy asked. 

“I think I still like 72 and 81 better, but it wasn’t bad.” SpongeBob replied. 

“Wait, you’ve seen all the other ones?” 

“Uhhhh...no...I mean, I’ve seen a few of them and even watched on with Squidward when he was sick that one time.” 

Sandy giggled at the little flustered sponge who was desperately trying to hide the fact that he liked these movies. Not wanting to embarrass him, she quickly changed the subject as they excited the theatre. 

“So now what?” Sandy asked, not wanting the night to end. 

“Well I need to work tomorrow so maybe I should get you home,” SpongeBob replied. “Mr. Krabs is counting on me and so are all his hungry customers.” 

With that they walked hand-in-hand back to the Tree Dome. 

SpongeBob’s heart started racing again. Was he supposed to kiss her goodnight? Or was he supposed to just give her a hug? Maybe just a friendly wave? He didn’t know and the Tree Dome was in sight of them so he needed to figure it out quick. 

“Well here’s me,” Sandy said with a smile. “I had a great time today SpongeBob, you were a perfect gentleman.” 

Sandy then leaned over and SpongeBob threw caution to the wind as their lips met. It felt like fireworks were going off all over SpongeBob and he pressed his lips harder into Sandy’s. She took the hint and kissed him back with more vigor as her mouth parted letting her tongue slide into SpongeBob’s mouth. 

After what seemed like an eternity, they pulled their lips apart and just gazed at one another. 

“That was perfect,” SpongeBob said softly. 

“Y’all probably say that to every girl dontcha?” Sandy joked. 

“Well...uhh...you see Sandy...that...uh...that was my first kiss,” SpongeBob said rubbing the back of his head. 

“Well shoot,” Sandy said cheerfully. “Glad I could be y’all’s first and I hope it’s not the last!’ 

Their lips met again as they went in for another kiss. SpongeBob was over the moon and was barely able to contain himself. Then without warning he started to feel a weird sensation in the pit of his stomach. 

_Oh tartar sauce! No, no, no, no! Not right now!_ SpongeBob thought as the sensation grew stronger and stronger. He did all he could to suppress it but it was no use. He knew what was about to happen and just wanted to hide away, but it was too late. 

With a groan and a spasm a white, milky, smoke-like cloud formed around SpongeBob. The tears instantly welled up in his eye as he pushed Sandy away. All he could see was the billowing white goo floating around him in the water and with that he started to run as fast as he could towards his pineapple. 

Sandy called out after him, but it was too late, SpongeBob was already gone. 

Seconds later the pineapple came into view and SpongeBob burst through the door. He then slammed it shut, locking it tight and then made a break for the stairs, tripping over Gary along the way. 

He landed with a thud and began crawling as quick as he could to the bathroom. Once inside he locked the door and turned on the shower before flopping into the tub to curl up into a little ball. Tears were streaming down his face and his skin couldn’t absorb them quick enough as he wailed. 

“What have I done,” SpongeBob cried to himself. “I released my special goo and made a mess all over Sandy. I’m so disgusting.” 

It’s not that SpongeBob didn’t understand his anatomy, he knew all too well that occasionally he’d release his “special goo” when he got really excited. It typically only happened when he was having a dream about one of the best days ever, but sometimes he’d rub one of his pores in the shower until he gooed everywhere. It always felt good, but as soon as he’d erupt a wave a guilt washed over him. 

He didn’t know how long he stayed in the shower, but it felt like ages. He finally crawled out, his eyes bloodshot from crying and flopped into bed.


	2. The Explanation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SpongeBob goes to see Sandy to explain what happens and gets an education.

The next morning he awoke to the sound of the phone ringing. He glanced at the shell phone to see Sandy’s name and number appear. He couldn’t bring himself to talk to her, not after what had happened last night. He was too embarrassed. 

He didn’t even feel like getting out of bed either, not even to go to work. He tried and tried to pick himself up but his body just wouldn’t let him. He gave it and dialed Mr. Krabs number to tell him he was home sick and wouldn’t be able to come into work. 

“Is it the suds?” Mr. Krabs asked. 

“Maybe Mr. Krabs,” SpongeBob lied. “I’ll be better tomorrow though, I promise.” 

“Well ya better be boy,” Mr. Krab said and then hung up the phone. 

SpongeBob rolled over and started to cry again as the scene from last night replayed in his head. Everytime he thought about that white cloud surrounding him he just cried harder and harder. 

SpongeBob eventually must have fallen back asleep in between crying and feeling sorry for himself. The next thing he knew he heard a pounding on his door. He tried to ignore it but the pounding just got louder and louder. With a sigh he pried himself off the bed and fumbled for some clothes before making his way downstairs. 

He opened the door to see his best friend Patrick Starfish standing there in front of him. 

“Hiya SpongeBob!”

“Oh hi Patrick. How are you doing?”

“Do you want to go jellyfishing?” 

“Sorry Patrick, not today, I’m not feeling up to it.”

“Oh, are you sick? Is it the suds again? You don’t look sick.”

“No Patrick, I just don’t feel like it.”

“Oh ok...oh Sandy came by looking for you, said she went to the Krusty Krab and you weren’t there. She said it was important that she talks to you.”

“Thanks Patrick”

With that SpongeBob shut the door. He probably should talk to her, no matter how embarrassing it was to do. So he went back upstairs to take another shower and clean up a bit, then found some clean clothes. With a huff, he then headed out the door towards the Tree Dome. 

Along the way he was lost in thought, not really knowing what to say or how it would play out. The last thing he wanted to do was breakdown crying, but he knew himself and knew that would probably happen. He tried to prepare himself as best as he could. 

He finally arrived at the Tree Dome and stepped inside the airlock. He found his water helmet and then knocked on the door, hoping Sandy wasn’t home. 

A minute later the door opened and there was Sandy. Her eyes were red and bloodshot, clearly she’d been crying just as much as SpongeBob had.

“Hi Sandy,” SpongeBob said meekly as he rubbed his arm nervously. 

“Hi? That’s all you got to say to me?” Sandy’s voice sounded angry. “Dang it SpongeBob I thought you were dead or something when you wouldn’t answer my calls or would even open the door when I came over and beat on it. I was worried sick about y’all!” 

“Sorry Sandy,” SpongeBob said as the tear started to form in his eyes. “I know you must hate me after what happened. I’m sorry I ruined everything and if you never want to talk to me again I understand. I wouldn’t want to talk to me anymore.” 

“Calm down just a minute, SpongeBob,” Sandy said, trying to chill the sponge out. “What happened exactly? One minute you were there and the next you weren’t, I thought I’d done something wrong!” 

“Oh, you don’t know what happened?”

“Not really SpongeBob, why don’t you come in and explain it to me?”

With that they made their way over to the picnic table sitting in Sandy yard. SpongeBob was still sobbing heavily in his helmet as he was trying to figure out what to say. They both took a seat and with a deep breath SpongeBob started to explain what had happened. 

“So when we were kissing I suddenly got a funny feeling deep down in my body,” SpongeBob started. “I tried to hold back but no matter what I did, I couldn’t, and before I knew it my whole body was starting to say ‘I’m Ready’. Before I knew it, I, well I couldn’t hold back any longer and it just made me explode and make a mess.” 

“Wait a second,” Sandy said, growing more confused. “What happened, I don’t think I understand y’all.”

“I...well I...you know,” SpongeBob said, dancing around the subject. 

“No, I really don’t.”

“You don’t?”

“No y’all that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you, I don’t know what y’all are talking about.”

“Oh,” SpongeBob said, the colour draining from his body. “Well your kisses made me release my...uh my...uhhh my ‘special goo’.” 

“Your what?” Sandy said, cocking an eyebrow. 

“My special goo,” SpongeBob said again. “You know, well maybe you don’t, but when sponges want to make new sponges they get all excited and release their special goo.”

“Ooooohhhh,” Sandy said, finally understanding what SpongeBob was talking about. “You mean your semen? I made you cum with just a kiss?”

“Come?” SpongeBob said quizzically. “Where do you want me to go? We’re already inside, do you want me to come inside your tree house?”

“No silly,” Sandy said, smiling at SpongeBob’s innocences. “Your ‘special goo’ as you call it, your semen, is called cum sometimes. It typically happens when ya foolin around...err getting handsy...errr what’s the right word for y’all to understand? It happens when you’re loving each other with y’alls body.” 

“Oh I understand.”

“What I don’t understand about y’all though is why did it just poof outta ya like that and not out of your little sponge?”

“My little sponge?”

“You know, y’alls penis.”

“Penis? What’s that? I don’t think I have one of those.” 

“Come to think of it, I’ve seen you naked enough times and I don’t think I’ve ever seen a penis on ya before. How do y’all go to the bathroom?” 

“You mean my osculum?” Spongebob said, pointing between his legs. 

“Y’alls what?”

“My osculum. It’s how sponges relieve themselves in the bathroom. It’s connected to my spongocoel that stores everything in my body. Don’t you have one? I thought everyone had one.”

“No SpongeBob, I’m a mammal, we don’t have them parts.” 

“Oh, sorry I didn’t mean to assume Sandy.” 

“Shoot SpongeBob, y’all don’t need to apologize. I should be saying sorry to you. I didn’t know, but at least I know now. Guess I need to study up on poriferas some more don’t I? But let's go back to what happened last night. So y’all just blow your load...err cum...out of y’alls pores?” 

“Ya I guess so, it always makes me feel so dirty though and I hate it, even though it still makes my whole body feel good. How do mammals do it?” 

Sandy took the next several minutes explaining to SpongeBob how mammals had sex and reproduced. It never had occurred to her that the critters down here in Bikini Bottom probably never learned about land creatures, let alone their reproductive systems.

After the biology lesson, Sandy could tell SpongeBob was somewhere between grossed out and intrigued. She figured a change in subject was in order to try to get things back on track. 

“So SpongeBob,” she said. “Now that we’ve cleared everything up and I know y’all don’t hate me, do you want to try this whole date thing again?”

“I’m ready,” SpongeBob said excitedly. 

And with that, they started making plans for “The Big Date 2.0”.


	3. Becoming A Mammal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In an effort to impress Sandy, SpongeBob tried to figure out how to become a mammal. Will it work or will he need to go to plan B?

SpongeBob and Sandy had agreed to give their dating another shot the following night. This made the sponge over the moon as he skipped home humming some made up tune. 

“Gary, Gary, Gary!” SpongeBob screamed as he entered his pineapple. “You’ll never believe it! It all worked out! I’m the happiest sponge in the ocean right now!” 

“Meow”

“Thanks pal!” 

He pulled two cans of food off the shelf and dumped it into Gary’s bowl. Why not celebrate a little since everything had gone so well. Or did it? 

“Hmmmm, I need to figure some stuff out,” SpongeBob said out loud to himself. “Sandy gave me such a detailed lesson in how mammals are. Maybe I need to see if I can turn myself into a mammal! Ya that’s it!” 

With that he jumped up and made his way to his library. He had to have a book or two in there that would explain to him how to transform himself. 

Hours later SpongeBob sat on the floor exhausted. There was nothing in any of his books that explained how to become a mammal. What was he going to do? He wanted to be the right kind of creature for Sandy so he didn’t blow it again. Then it dawned on him, Squidward will know what to do. 

SpongeBob bounced up and ran next door to his neighbours Moai head and rapidly beat on the door. 

“Squidward...oh Squidward!” SpongeBob yelled. “Are you in there buddy, it’s an emergency!” 

Squidward opened the door, annoyed that the little yellow sponge always interrupted his peace and quiet. 

“What do you want SpongeBob?” 

“Say Squidward, do you know how to transform into a mammal?”

“What? That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.”

“No I need to know how to do it, it’s important!”

“No SpongeBob, you’re a sponge, you can’t turn yourself into a mammal.” 

“Are you sure Squidward?”

“Yes SpongeBob, I’m sure. Now can I get back to being away from you?”

“Ya Squidward, thanks for your help.”

SpongeBob sulked back home trying to fight back the tears. How was he going to show Sandy he really cared if he couldn’t be a mammal. Then he had an idea. 

_SpongeBob you barnacle head, you’re a sponge, you can transform yourself into any shape you want!_

With that he quickly ran back into his library to read up on what a squirrel looked like and to practice taking on a squirrel's shape. 

Unfortunately, it was no use. No matter how hard SpongeBob tried he couldn’t get himself to look like a squirrel. Sure, he could transform himself into the same basic shape as one, but without fur he just looked silly. 

“Time for a new plan,” he said crumpling up a piece of paper. “Sandy mentioned something about a penis...dahahahaha penis...maybe I can figure that out.” 

Flipping through some more pages he found a section on the anatomy of various land creatures. Reading through it he began to form a plan on what he needed to do. He needed to sprout a penis between his legs and then figure out how to redirect his “special goo” to it when Sandy touched it. 

After a few attempts he finally figured it out and out sprang a small, yellow shaft from in between his legs. This caused SpongeBob to laugh and laugh. It reminded him of Squidward's nose and he gave it a flick to watch it bounce around. 

Now he just needed to figure out how to direct his goo there instead of out all his pores. 

_Hmmm so I ooze my special goo when I play with my pores. So maybe if I play with my new penis it’ll work. I don’t feel much like playing with it though. What can I do?_

With a snap of his fingers he remembered how the sea anemones always made him feel. He ran back up the stairs and dug through a box sitting next to his TV to find the video marked Anemones Go Wild and plopped it in the player. 

As it started, he shed all his clothes and sprouted his penis, then kicked back in his chair. As he watched the anemones swim and dance around he tried to figure out what exactly to do with his new member. 

First he tried squeezing it, but that didn’t do anything. Then he kept flicking it with his finger, but all that did was hurt slightly. Next he tried wiggling it around by using his hips, but that just made him laugh as his little sponge just flopped from side to side. Finally, he started feeling it looking for a pore. 

“Oh Neptune,” SpongeBob cried out as his fingers found a small, tight pore underneath his new shaft. With his eyes fixated on the dancing sea creatures he started rapidly playing with the pore. This sent shockwaves of pleasure rolling throughout the sponge’s body, causing him to moan louder than he’d expected. 

After a few minutes of doing this, the same feeling as the other night started to build in the pit of his stomach. He picked up the pace and the next thing he knew, his whole body spasmed as a huge white cloud erupted around him. 

“Tartar sauce!” SpongeBob exclaimed. “It was supposed to come out my wee wee, not my whole body. I need to try again!” 

And that’s how it went for the rest of the night. SpongeBob would watch the video, rub his penis pore, and then explode in a cloud of milky, white, special goo. 

By the time midnight rolled around, he'd lost count with how many times he’d cum. But with his last one he managed to channel his semen into his new penis. It didn’t shoot out the tip like the book said, but rather formed a thick white cloud around the entire shaft. It wasn’t perfect but it would have to do. 

Now exhausted, he crawled up to bed and passed out immediately, still covered head to toe in his own special goo.


	4. The Second First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SpongeBob and Sandy go on their second attempt at a first date, opting to keep it more lowkey than the previous one. Will it end in disaster again or does everything work out for the better?

SpongeBob awoke the next morning all crusty from his marathon gooing session last night. He smelled awful and felt even worse. Everything hurt and he was beyond tired. But he knew he had a date tonight with Sandy and he couldn’t wait to show her what he’d been working on. 

He made his way to the shower and cleaned up. It felt great to rinse all the funk off of him and he made sure to scrub every inch of himself so he’d look fabulous for Sandy. 

After his shower, he got dressed and headed out the door to work. It was going to be a long day since he was so excited for tonight. 

Once he made it to the Krusty Krab he met up with his co-worker, Squidward. 

“Hiya Squidward!” he said excitedly. “It’s the best day ever isn’t it?”

“No” Squidward said in a monotone voice. “It looks like you’re still a sponge, did you give up trying to be a mammal or are you still confused about biology?” 

“No that didn’t work, but I came up with something even better!” SpongeBob exclaimed. “Do you want to see it?” 

“Not in a million years,” Squidward said. Although he must admit he was a bit curious to know what SpongeBob came up with, but at the same time he shuddered at the thought of what it might be. Also, a nap sounded better than talking to SpongeBob so early in the morning. 

The day dragged on for SpongeBob, he wanted his shift to be over so he could go spend the evening with Sandy. In lieu of going out somewhere, they’d decided to stay at Sandy’s Tree Dome to watch a movie and eat popcorn. They both thought this would work better, especially if SpongeBob had another accident. 

Finally the end of the day came and SpongeBob ran out of Krusty Krab feeling better than ever. He made a quick stop to get some flowers for Sandy, then continued sprinting at full tilt towards her house. 

Once he arrived he put on his water helmet and then beat on the door. Sandy opened it with a smile and the two hugged. 

“Howdy SpongeBob!” Sandy said with a smile. “Wow you made it here quick after work, did y’all run or something?”

“Maaayyyybe,” SpongeBob replied as he fluttered his eyes at Sandy. “I was just so excited to see you again I couldn’t help it.”

“Well I’m mighty excited to see you too!” she said giving him another hug. “Oh, I got some for you too, wait right here.” 

With that Sandy disappeared into her tree house before coming back out with a weird looking device. 

“Here you go SpongeBob,” she said, handing him the device. “Slip it on your arm like a bracelet. It’s similar to the device that I wear around my neck but it works in reverse. This means y’all won’t have to wear your water helmet while here in the tree dome. Just make sure to charge it and fill it with some water every 24 hours.”

“Wow Sandy, this is great!”

“I thought you’d like it SpongeBob, plus this means I can give you a smooch whenever I want too.” 

The two kissed and then made their way into the tree house to kick back and watch a movie. 

Once inside Sandy grabbed some popcorn and SpongeBob fiddled with the player to get the movie going. It was a western called Squirrel on the Range and it was one of Sandy’s all time favourites since it featured some distant relative from back home in Texas. 

After it started, they both sat on the couch cuddled up with one another. Neither of them paid much attention to the movie though. SpongeBob was too busy staring at the beautiful squirrel and Sandy was lost in thought about how lucky she was. 

“Y’all going to kiss me or what?” Sandy said softly. 

Without saying a word SpongeBob leaned over and their lips met again. Their kisses became more passionate as they continued and their hands started to wonder all over each other’s body. SpongeBob didn’t really know what to do, but he figured if he followed Sandy’s lead, he’d be pretty safe. Plus he didn’t have any weird feelings inside that signaled he was about to goo everywhere again. 

As they kissed Sandy started to remove SpongeBob’s clothes and he followed in turn. Before they both knew it, they were lying naked on the couch, still locked in a kiss. 

Sandy then sat up and looked at SpongeBob with a confused look on her face. 

“So I’m not really sure what to do next,” she said trying to figure out how to put this in a way SpongeBob could understand. “How do I make y’all feel good?” 

“Oh Sandy,” he responded. “You always make me feel good just by being around me.”

“No, not that silly, how do I...well you know...how do I pleasure you?” she said. “Like how do y’all do it when you’re alone and need some relief?”

“Oh you mean how do you make me goo?” he said as it dawned on him what she was asking. 

“Uh sure,” she said wishing he’d quit calling it that. 

“I tried to figure this out last night,” SpongeBob said. “I first tried to turn myself into a mammal but Squidward said I couldn’t. Then I tried to transform into a squirrel, but I just looked like a hairless goof. Finally, I had an idea, and I made myself one of those penises you were talking about! You want to see?”

“Yes?” Sandy replied both confused and curious as to what the little yellow sponge was talking about. 

SpongeBob then stood up, closed his eyes, and with a small grunt sprouted his new penis for Sandy to see. It didn’t really look like much, almost like his nose but a tad thicker and not as long. 

“Sooooo what do you think?” he said standing there all proud of himself. 

“Well I’ll be a son of a gun!” Sandy said looking on in a bit of disbelief. “So how does it all work? Do I need to do something special to it or what?” 

“Well I tried to figure that out last night too,” he went on. “So just rub on that little pore on the underside of it and I’ll goo. I even figured out how to make it goo too so I don’t explode everywhere again.” 

“Cum, SpongeBob, say cum”

“Oh alright, I figured out how to make it cum...well sort of how to make it cum. I read it in a book in my library.”

“Y’all’s what?”

“My library, you know where I keep all my books and stuff.” 

“Gotcha, well let's get this show on the road then!” 

“Wait! You know how to make me feel good, but I don’t really know how to make you feel good. You don’t look like you have a penis or anything for me to touch.” 

Sandy let out a sigh, it didn’t really click with her that SpongeBob wouldn’t know what to do. With that she spread her legs open and showed him her vagina.

“Now see here SpongeBob,” she said pointing to her lady parts. “This here’s my pussy, you can use your fingers, or tongue, or even your penis in there.”

“Your pussy?” SpongeBob said, cocking an eyebrow. “You mean like a cat?”

“No you goof, it’s just a slang term for a female’s vagina.”

“Oh ok, well what do you want me to use in there then?” 

“How about you start with y’all’s fingers. Just slide one or two inside and pretend you’re playing your ukulele. Then switch to your tongue and pretend like y’all are licking an ice cream cone. Finally, if you're lucky, I’ll let you put your little sponge in there.” 

SpongeBob was confused, but figured Sandy knew what she was talking about so he slid two fingers inside Sandy’s opening and started strumming them like the spring on his ukulele. This caused Sandy to let out a moan of pleasure, it had been so long since anyone other than herself had explored her cooch. 

“Oh my, are you ok!” SpongeBob gasped. “Did I hurt you, you sound hurt!” 

“I’m fine SpongeBob,” she said softly. “It just feels really good, keep going and use your tongue too.” 

SpongeBob went back to work moving his fingers about and then proceeded to press his tongue on Sandy’s pussy which was growing wetter by the second. He wanted to ask her about that, but she was moaning and clearly enjoying it so he figured he’d save that question for later. 

As SpongeBob licked, he couldn’t help but notice how odd it tasted. He’d never really experienced a taste like that before and couldn’t put his finger on it what it even tasted like. He didn’t mind it though and figured that must be what a squirrel tastes like. 

After several minutes of fingering and licking, Sandy’s moans started getting louder and louder. Her whole body started to shake as she felt her orgasm building. This was going to be a big one, she just knew it. 

“Oh Neptune,” she screamed as the wave of pleasure pulsed through her body. This caused SpongeBob to fall backwards as Sandy writhed in beautiful agony. 

“Well shoot SpongeBob,” Sandy said finally coming back to earth. “That was amazing, I haven’t felt that good in a long time.” 

SpongeBob was pretty happy with himself. He managed to please Sandy and managed to keep himself from gooing...err cumming at the same time. That sounds like a win in his book. But he really didn’t know what to do next, should he put his penis in her?   
“Ok SpongeBob,” Sandy finally said, sensing the sponge was a bit lost on the next step. “Why don’t y’all have a seat up here on the couch?”

SpongeBob did as he was told and Sandy knelt down on the floor taking his penis in her mouth. It felt weird since it was just more sponge, but it wasn’t as unpleasant as she thought it was going to be. 

She let her tongue explore his shaft until she found the pore he’d told her about early. This causes SpongeBob to jump and then let a moan that sounded nothing like she’d ever heard him utter before. 

Sandy kept working SpongeBob’s pore with her tongue wondering what was going to happen when she finally took him over the edge. Hopefully, he wouldn’t cum all over her couch and ruin it, but if he did it’d just mean some heavy cleaning tomorrow morning. 

“Oh Neptune, I’m going goo,” SpongeBob moaned. “I mean cum...I’m going to cum, cum, cum!” 

With that his whole penis exploded in Sandy’s mouth, filling her cheeks with his semen. She’d sort of expected it to shoot down her throat though, not out from ever part of his spongy member. 

Once he’d finished, she swallowed the entire load and looked up at SpongeBob. 

“So how did that feel?” she asked. 

“That was amazing Sandy,” he replied. “What did you do with my goo, I mean cum, and I’m sorry I made such a mess in your mouth.”

“I swallowed it and no need to apologize.”

“Wait, you can swallow that stuff?”

“I mean sure, some girls do, some don’t. I just happen to like swallowing it.”

“I guess that makes sense.”

Not wanting to press the issue any further Sandy just gave him a smile and got up off the floor. Still both naked, they then laid together on the couch lost in their own thoughts about what had just happened. 

“So SpongeBob,” Sandy finally said. “Y’all want to take this upstairs or what?”


	5. SpongeBob's First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SpongeBob and Sandy make love for the first time and learn a little more about each other's anatomy.

The couple made their way upstairs. SpongeBob was beyond nervous. He just had his first kiss a few days ago now he was about to lose his virginity. It was a whirlwind of emotions of the sponge, but if he was going to lose it, then Sandy was the girl he wanted to do it with. 

As soon as they entered Sandy’s room, she threw SpongeBob on the bed and then jumped on top of him. They kissed and explored each other's bodies as they were locked in a passionate embrace. 

“Y’all ready for this SpongeBob,” Sandy said softly as she kissed SpongeBob again. 

“I think so,” he said, trying not to act nervous. “So do I just stick it in or what?” 

“Tell you what SpongeBob,” Sandy started. “Why don’t you just lay on your back and let me start us off. That way you can see what it’s all about, then we’ll just go from there. But please let me know if you start to get uncomfortable.”

“Sounds good,” SpongeBob said as he rolled over onto his back. 

Sandy straddled him and guided his penis towards her waiting pussy. She had no idea what this was going to feel like but it couldn’t be that much different than the way SpongeBob’s skin felt. With deep breath she slid his member inside her, then paused to revel in how good it felt. 

SpongeBob could’ve made his dick any size, but he’d chosen a length and girth that fit perfectly inside Sandy. She let out a little moan as she started rocking her hip, hoping that something inside her was massaging SpongeBob’s special pore. 

As she rode him, she glanced down to look at SpongeBob’s face to see how he was enjoying it. His eyes were shut and his buck teeth were biting down on his bottom lip. His breathing was heavy and she figured he was either really enjoying it or in pain. She hoped he’d tell her if it hurt, so she assumed he was really enjoying himself. 

“You like that spongy?” Sandy cooed and she continued to ride him. “Do you like the way my wet little pussy feels on your big cock?”

“Ugggghhh,” SpongeBob could only moan in pleasure as the squirrel worked his dick. 

“I’ll take that as a yes! How about you take over now?” she asked, wanting to let SpongeBob try a new position before he came. 

Sandy rolled off of him and laid on her back. She motioned for SpongeBob to climb on top of her and then helped guide his member towards her eagerly awaiting pussy lips. 

“Now slide in and start thrusting your hips,” she instructed SpongeBob. 

SpongeBob slid his penis into Sandy and then started slowly working his hips back and forth. It took him a few tries to find a rhythm, but one he did he started to pick up the pace as he worked in and out of Sandy. 

Within seconds though SpongeBob felt that now familiar feeling building inside of him. He quickened his pace as the pleasure started to take control. Something inside Sandy’s pussy was hitting his special pore just right and it was sending him over the edge. 

“Oh Sandy,” SpongeBob moaned. “I’m...I’m...I’m gonna cum.” 

“Quick pull out Spong…” Sandy said with a sense of urgency. But it was too late. SpongeBob's cum filled the inside of Sandy and it felt like an even bigger load than the one she’d got in her mouth. 

A few more thrusts and then SpongeBob rolled off of Sandy, out of breath and in a trance since he couldn’t believe what had just happened. 

“Dang it SpongeBob,” Sandy said, sounding rather annoyed. “Y’all shouldn’t come in a girl unless she tells ya too.” 

“Gee Sandy,” SpongeBob said, snapping out of his trace. “I didn’t mean too. Please don’t be mad. I’ll leave if you want me too.”

SpongeBob’s eyes filled with tears as he started to cry. He was convinced that he just goofed up his relationship with Sandy, just like the other night when he made a mess, quite literally, of everything. But he knew better than to run away, he wanted to try to talk to Sandy to figure it out and show her he’d learned from his past mistake. 

“It’s OK SpongeBob,” Sandy said, trying to comfort her new lover. “I ain’t mad at ya, it just took me by surprise is all. But in the future, don’t do that unless I tell you ya can, alight?”

“OK Sandy, again I’m really sorry. Nothing bad is going to happen is it?”

“Well, I don’t think so. You and I are different species so we probably won’t have little critters running around because of it. I assume y’all are clean too so we should be pretty safe too.”

SpongeBob didn’t really understand what she was talking about. Little critters? Clean? Of course he was clean, he had showered this morning. 

Sandy picked up on SpongeBob’s inability to comprehend what she was saying. 

“Sorry SpongeBob, let me explain. I’m sure sponges maybe do it similar, but with mammals when the males cums in the female, then the female can get pregnant, you know with little critters...babies. And clean, I mean no diseases or anything, sometime y’all can get a disease by having sex with one another. But don’t worry, we ain’t getting disease since we’re both clean.”

“Oh ok Sandy, I guess that makes sense. I don’t think I want to be a daddy right now anyway.” 

With the sorted out the couple cuddled up with one another in Sandy’s bed and quickly drifted off to sleep.


	6. The Little Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter to bridge the gap between chapter 5 and chapter 7.

After that night, the pair were inseparable. They spent nearly every night together and would have sex every chance they had. 

SpongeBob had improved a bunch as well, he could last longer and was no longer confused about what to do when the two of them go naked. They even took things a step further and started trying out new and adventurous things. 

SpongeBob thought everything was going great until one day he got a call. It was a teary Sandy on the other end of the line. 

“Hi SpongeBob,” the voice said. 

“Hi Sandy,” he answered. “Wait, what’s wrong, it sounds like you’re crying.” 

“We need to have a talk,” she said through sobs. “Can you come over?”

“I’ll be right there,” SpongeBob said. He hoped this didn’t mean what he thought it meant. He’d seen enough movies to know that when a girl says we need to have a talk, it typically means they’re going to dump you. He really hoped that wasn’t the case since he’d already bought a ring for Sandy and was waiting for the perfect time to give it to her. 

SpongeBob tried to push aside the thoughts and made his way over to the Tree Dome. When he arrived Sandy was sitting out in her yard staring off into space. She didn’t even hear him come in until he went over and put his hand on her shoulder.

“Ok Sandy, I’m here, what’s wrong?” he said meekly. 

“SpongeBob, I don’t know how to tell you this,” tears beginning to well up in her eyes again.

“You’re breaking up with me aren’t you,” he said, starting to cry as well. 

“What?” Sandy snapped back to reality. “Oh no, no no no no no, I’m not breaking up with you, not in a million years.”   
“Oh,” SpongeBob said with relief. “Then what is it?”

“Y’all remember how I told you that there was nothing to worry about cause we’re different species? How there wouldn’t be any little critters running around?

“Yes…”

“Well I think I was wrong SpongeBob. I’ve been feeling downright crummy the past couple of days and went to the doctor’s this morning. After running some tests, he told me that I was...uhhhh pregnant.” 

“You’re what?!?” 

“Don’t be mad SpongeBob, it’s my fault, I should’ve had you be more careful and everything. I just didn’t think it was possible since y’all a sponge and I’m a squirrel.” 

“Mad? What Sandy, I’m not mad.”

“You’re not?”

“No Sandy, this just might be the best day ever. I’m going to be daddy! Oh my, we’re going to need to build a baby room and get all these little baby clothes and...and...oh I can’t even think straight I’m so excited.”

“I’m so happy you’re not mad, I thought for sure you were going to leave me.” 

“Not in a million years Sandra J. Cheeks!” 

With that they shared a kiss and then sat there lost in thought of what their lives had in store for them in the near future. They also both wondered what a sponge/squirrel hybrid baby would even look like. It didn’t matter though, they’d love it no matter how it looked. 

“Sandy,” SpongeBob said, breaking the silence. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure SpongeBob, what is it?” she replied. 

SpongeBob fiddled in his pocket to make sure the ring he’d bought was still there. He then knelt down in front and Sandy and pulled it out. 

“Sandy, will you marry me?” he asked with a smile. 

“Of course SpongeBob,” she said, taking the ring and slipping it on her finger. “A million times yes!”


	7. Now a Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The conclusion and happy ending of The Premature Sponge.

It had been a month since Sandy had broken the news to SpongeBob about her pregnancy. It'd been a whirlwind too. What originally was thought to be one baby was actually two. 

In that time SpongeBob had his pineapple moved next to Sandy’s Tree Dome and had an airlock between the two constructed. This made it easier for the two to go back and forth, as well as made their “home” larger to accommodate their new family. 

SpongeBob had also finally completed his boaters education and got his license. He figured he needed to really buckle down and nail the test in order to shuttle the kids around once they came. 

Despite all the big changes though, Sandy and SpongeBob’s love continued to grow. They’d even gone through a simple ceremony to tie the knot since they knew they might not have the time once the kids were in the picture. 

They mostly stayed at Sandy’s Tree Dome since she was more comfortable there and it was easier for her to move around with her big belly. SpongeBob would often make his way back to his pineapple during the night though to give Sandy all the room she needed in their bed. It was always lonely for him, but it was worth it to make sure Sandy was comfortable. 

He kept a monitor near his bed though so he could hear if Sandy called for him. Since squirrels were only pregnant for less than three months, he knew he could get the call at any time. 

Then one night he heard the monitor crackle to life. 

“SpongeBob, you there honey?” Sandy’s voice said. 

“Yes my love,” SpongeBob replied while still waking up. “Is everything ok?” 

“It’s time!” was all she responded. With that SpongeBob jumped out of bed and threw his clothes on as fast as he could. He then ran to Sandy’s room and made sure all the bags were packed, just like he’d rehearsed several times. 

He then loaded up the boat and helped Sandy to the passenger seat. She was already in pain and groaning as the contractions started. SpongeBob did the best he could to keep her calm and keep his eyes on the road as he sped towards the hospital. 

Arriving at the emergency entrance, three nurses came out to help Sandy into a wheelchair and whisk her up to labour and delivery. After SpongeBob has parked the boat, he lugged the bags to her room where he sat next to her and held her hand. 

“This is it my love,” SpongeBob said nervously. “We’re going to be a mommy and a daddy.”  
All Sandy could do is wince with pain as she tried to force a smile. 

Sandy’s labour went on for hours and SpongeBob grew more and more fidgety. He never sat still for this long, but he wanted to be there for Sandy every step of the way. Even when she suggested he take a nap, he refused and kept holding on to her hand. 

Finally, on hour ten of her labour, it was time to push. Sandy was surrounded by nurses and the doctor as she screamed trying to push the babies out of her. She’d never been in some much pain, but she was just excited to see her little ones. 

Neither her or SpongeBob knew if it was two boys, two girls, or a boy and a girl. They wanted to be surprised and it didn’t really matter to them, as long as the babies were healthy. 

“I see a head!” the doctor said. “Push Sandy, it’s almost here.” 

With one final grunt out plopped baby one, followed shortly by baby two. 

“One boy and one girl,” the nurse informed the parents. “They’re looking good and healthy too.” 

As soon as they cleaned up both babies they brought them over to lay on Sandy’s chest. That’s when the pair finally got a good look at their new little ones. 

The boy was covered in yellow fur and had a square bottom like his dad, but his face resembled that of a squirrel. He also had a bushy tail, the same as Sandy’s, and big blue eyes like SpongeBob’s. He was adorable. 

The girl was similar to her brother, but instead of yellow fur had brown just like Sandy. Her tail was smaller and her bottom was more rounded, but her head was more square shaped and had two little squirrel ears poking up through a tuffet of hair. She was about the cutest thing they’d ever seen. 

“So mom and dad,” the nurse said. “Have any names picked out?” 

Both SpongeBob and Sandy looked at one another and smiled. They’d been through a million names over the past month but nothing ever really stood out. But now after seeing their little bundles of joy, they had it figured out. 

“The girl's name will be Acorn,” Sandy said. 

“And the boy?” the nurse asked.

“SpongeBob Jr.” SpongeBob replied. 

“Perfect, I’ll let you two get acquainted with your new little ones, call if you need anything,” the nurse said as she left the room. 

Once they were alone with their new babies both parents started to cry as the little ones tried to snuggle up close to Sandy for warmth. They were both so happy with their new little family, even if it meant things were going to be vastly different over the coming months and years. 

“Can you believe it Sandy?” SpongeBob said. “We’re parents now and not just parents, but the best parents ever!” 

“No honey I can’t believe it,” Sandy said with a sniffle. “Just think if we hadn’t tried to figure everything out that one night after our first date none of this would’ve ever happened.”

“I’m glad we figured it out.”

“Me too SpongeBob, me too.”

And with that they shared a kiss as they watched their little ones sleep peacefully on Sandy’s chest.


End file.
